Digital interference
Originally posted July 29th 2005
This morning started as I suspect all mornings start out when you’re in Hell. I spilled coffee all down the front of my white shirt, logged in to find that a student had disconnected my Ethernet because they preferred that port on the switch, and of course it’s Friday so I am all alone.
The director strides in all smiles and wide eyed, obviously pointing out the fact that he wasn’t indulged in any late night drinking affairs such as myself.
“Good morning everyone, and how are we today?” He announces from the other room.
A very quiet and somber “ehhhh” comes from anyone within earshot.
Not really wanting to be confronted or bothered this early in the morning I decide to look busy at my desk until I hear him retire into his office. After a few minutes of office chat I hear his door open and close. I figured this would be a good time to make a break for the bathroom as all the coffee, minus what I spilled onto myself mind you, is catching up with me rather quickly. With no students in yet I take my chances and make way to the front door rather then escape through one of the convenient side doors. But before I can get there I hear the sounds of a door opening behind me.
“HAPPY FRIDAY” a loud voice shouts from behind me. The unexpected sound startles me to the point I almost piss my pants. I recognize the voice as the directors and spin around to confront him.
“I saw you coming and thought I would say good morning.”
Saw me coming? What the hell is he talking about? I glance over his shoulder into the office as his door is closing to witness a small color television with several images on it. Holy shit they’ve installed cameras here. My face goes pale and a bead of sweat runs down my forehead as I try to be nonchalant looking around the room for the little devils. It’s not long before I spot my first one peaking out from beneath the ceiling tile just behind from where the director is standing. It appears to be a typical wireless webcam you can pick up at any convenient electronics outlet, white in color no less to match the tile in an obvious attempt to conceal it from everyone.
“Like our new security?” he says watching my eyes as I scan the rest of the room looking for more of these little bastards.
Trying to show as much interest as possible while being distracted by the ever increasing urge to expel a jumbo sized cup of coffee, my face scrunches up and I begin to squirm uncomfortably “Yeah, very interesting.”
“Looks like you spilled something on your shirt” he points to my chest and I inevitably fall for the oldest trick in the book as I look down at his finger just before it comes back up at my face whacking my nose forcing my head back. While holding onto his stomach and slapping his hand across his knee he begins to laugh hysterically to himself. “Now that’s funny” he says “and I bet it was caught on our new security cameras too.”
I let out a half ass smile while nodding my head and rubbing my nose.
“So what’s with all the added security suddenly?” I ask
“Well” he says wrinkling his face into that of a person who just ate a sour grape “corporate says we should have more security incase……”
“Incase a student goes off the deep end and starts throwing books like a rapid dog?” I say sarcastically
“Well……yeah kind of, but more to act as a theft deterrent.”
“Theft deterrent?” puzzled by his comment.
“So students aren’t leaving with books or materials they shouldn’t be."
Yeah because stealing school books is an ever rising crime in this country and these evil-doers must be stopped at all costs.
“So why wireless?”
“They were the cheapest, plus I saved a ton of money from what corporate allowed us to spend on them, which means we have money for other things.”
“errrr………yeah…..right, well then lets hope they do the job” I say “now if you will excuse me I really must step out for a minute”
“Oh but of course” He crosses his hands behind his back and with a smile turns to head back into his office. Before he can take even one step I swing my foot as hard as I can under his right leg as he begins to walk forward. -WHAP- his legs become entangled and he stumbles forward almost falling onto his face. He turns catching his breathe and fixing his stringy comb over looking around to see if anyone had just witnessed his little debacle.
“Good one” he says pointing his finger at me.
Standing at attention, a smirk on my face, taking in my brief moment of victory I say out loud, “And caught on our new security cameras too.”
“Yeah…….” He admittedly responds “by the way come see me in my office when you get a chance” still pointing his finger at me, now in the shape of a fake gun he cocks his thumb back and makes a motion as if to fire at me giving me a wink and making an odd –chhhck- sound from the corner of his crooked mouth. Great, anytime you’re pulled into his office it can’t be for anything good.
With that I run down the corridor to the bathroom making it just in the knick of time before my bladder explodes.
So, not only do I have the problem of spying eyes to worry about but now I get to look forward to a meeting with the boss about something I don’t remember doing at a time that doesn’t exist in a place I never was. I need to come up with a way to kill two birds with one stone. (A man thinks best while holding onto his brain in front of a urinal cake filled cesspool.) Back at my desk I decide to do some research on our new little spying eyes. This particular model that he decided to purchase happens to operate at 2.4GHz, which is very close to the operating frequency of most standard microwave ovens, (2.45GHz) and ironically we have a standard household microwave oven in the lab. How convenient. This would be a great time to test how long it takes to boil water, wouldn't you agree? With a few beeps and pushing of buttons the microwave comes to life while I watch a bowl of water inside spinning round and round on the turn table like an outdated vinyl record.
Around the corner there seems to be some commotion coming from the front desk. I peak my head around to see what's up.
“What are you doing?” The receptionist asks.
“I need this chair to get up to our new security cameras, something seems to be the matter with them, the screen in back is giving us all kinds of noise and static on every one of them. I just want to make sure that the connections are all ok.” The director says as he begins to mount a swivel computer chair.
“Well ok, but be careful…………”
-WHAM-
The sound of a thunderous crash is echoed throughout the hallways as the director comes crashing down.
“Wow, who would have thought standing on a swivel chair with wheels would have been a bad idea.” I said standing in amazement.
Several people attempt to help him regain his composure, however it appears he injured his back when he fell and will need to go to the doctor.
“Anything I can do to help?” I ask
“No, no, just mind the shop until I can return” he says hunched over, eyes wincing in pain while he rubs his back.
“Ok then take care….” I say waiving to him “oh and I guess that meeting in your office is postponed?” He mumbles something back to me that I can’t quite make out and waddles off to the elevators.
Poor son of a bitch, I hope he’s ok!
I wonder what I can get on eBay for 5 wireless spy cameras?
This morning started as I suspect all mornings start out when you’re in Hell. I spilled coffee all down the front of my white shirt, logged in to find that a student had disconnected my Ethernet because they preferred that port on the switch, and of course it’s Friday so I am all alone.
The director strides in all smiles and wide eyed, obviously pointing out the fact that he wasn’t indulged in any late night drinking affairs such as myself.
“Good morning everyone, and how are we today?” He announces from the other room.
A very quiet and somber “ehhhh” comes from anyone within earshot.
Not really wanting to be confronted or bothered this early in the morning I decide to look busy at my desk until I hear him retire into his office. After a few minutes of office chat I hear his door open and close. I figured this would be a good time to make a break for the bathroom as all the coffee, minus what I spilled onto myself mind you, is catching up with me rather quickly. With no students in yet I take my chances and make way to the front door rather then escape through one of the convenient side doors. But before I can get there I hear the sounds of a door opening behind me.
“HAPPY FRIDAY” a loud voice shouts from behind me. The unexpected sound startles me to the point I almost piss my pants. I recognize the voice as the directors and spin around to confront him.
“I saw you coming and thought I would say good morning.”
Saw me coming? What the hell is he talking about? I glance over his shoulder into the office as his door is closing to witness a small color television with several images on it. Holy shit they’ve installed cameras here. My face goes pale and a bead of sweat runs down my forehead as I try to be nonchalant looking around the room for the little devils. It’s not long before I spot my first one peaking out from beneath the ceiling tile just behind from where the director is standing. It appears to be a typical wireless webcam you can pick up at any convenient electronics outlet, white in color no less to match the tile in an obvious attempt to conceal it from everyone.
“Like our new security?” he says watching my eyes as I scan the rest of the room looking for more of these little bastards.
Trying to show as much interest as possible while being distracted by the ever increasing urge to expel a jumbo sized cup of coffee, my face scrunches up and I begin to squirm uncomfortably “Yeah, very interesting.”
“Looks like you spilled something on your shirt” he points to my chest and I inevitably fall for the oldest trick in the book as I look down at his finger just before it comes back up at my face whacking my nose forcing my head back. While holding onto his stomach and slapping his hand across his knee he begins to laugh hysterically to himself. “Now that’s funny” he says “and I bet it was caught on our new security cameras too.”
I let out a half ass smile while nodding my head and rubbing my nose.
“So what’s with all the added security suddenly?” I ask
“Well” he says wrinkling his face into that of a person who just ate a sour grape “corporate says we should have more security incase……”
“Incase a student goes off the deep end and starts throwing books like a rapid dog?” I say sarcastically
“Well……yeah kind of, but more to act as a theft deterrent.”
“Theft deterrent?” puzzled by his comment.
“So students aren’t leaving with books or materials they shouldn’t be."
Yeah because stealing school books is an ever rising crime in this country and these evil-doers must be stopped at all costs.
“So why wireless?”
“They were the cheapest, plus I saved a ton of money from what corporate allowed us to spend on them, which means we have money for other things.”
“errrr………yeah…..right, well then lets hope they do the job” I say “now if you will excuse me I really must step out for a minute”
“Oh but of course” He crosses his hands behind his back and with a smile turns to head back into his office. Before he can take even one step I swing my foot as hard as I can under his right leg as he begins to walk forward. -WHAP- his legs become entangled and he stumbles forward almost falling onto his face. He turns catching his breathe and fixing his stringy comb over looking around to see if anyone had just witnessed his little debacle.
“Good one” he says pointing his finger at me.
Standing at attention, a smirk on my face, taking in my brief moment of victory I say out loud, “And caught on our new security cameras too.”
“Yeah…….” He admittedly responds “by the way come see me in my office when you get a chance” still pointing his finger at me, now in the shape of a fake gun he cocks his thumb back and makes a motion as if to fire at me giving me a wink and making an odd –chhhck- sound from the corner of his crooked mouth. Great, anytime you’re pulled into his office it can’t be for anything good.
With that I run down the corridor to the bathroom making it just in the knick of time before my bladder explodes.
So, not only do I have the problem of spying eyes to worry about but now I get to look forward to a meeting with the boss about something I don’t remember doing at a time that doesn’t exist in a place I never was. I need to come up with a way to kill two birds with one stone. (A man thinks best while holding onto his brain in front of a urinal cake filled cesspool.) Back at my desk I decide to do some research on our new little spying eyes. This particular model that he decided to purchase happens to operate at 2.4GHz, which is very close to the operating frequency of most standard microwave ovens, (2.45GHz) and ironically we have a standard household microwave oven in the lab. How convenient. This would be a great time to test how long it takes to boil water, wouldn't you agree? With a few beeps and pushing of buttons the microwave comes to life while I watch a bowl of water inside spinning round and round on the turn table like an outdated vinyl record.
Around the corner there seems to be some commotion coming from the front desk. I peak my head around to see what's up.
“What are you doing?” The receptionist asks.
“I need this chair to get up to our new security cameras, something seems to be the matter with them, the screen in back is giving us all kinds of noise and static on every one of them. I just want to make sure that the connections are all ok.” The director says as he begins to mount a swivel computer chair.
“Well ok, but be careful…………”
-WHAM-
The sound of a thunderous crash is echoed throughout the hallways as the director comes crashing down.
“Wow, who would have thought standing on a swivel chair with wheels would have been a bad idea.” I said standing in amazement.
Several people attempt to help him regain his composure, however it appears he injured his back when he fell and will need to go to the doctor.
“Anything I can do to help?” I ask
“No, no, just mind the shop until I can return” he says hunched over, eyes wincing in pain while he rubs his back.
“Ok then take care….” I say waiving to him “oh and I guess that meeting in your office is postponed?” He mumbles something back to me that I can’t quite make out and waddles off to the elevators.
Poor son of a bitch, I hope he’s ok!
I wonder what I can get on eBay for 5 wireless spy cameras?
posted by Mr. Cheese @ 10:31 PM
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