Does anyone have an Inhaler?
Originally posted July 10th 2005
2:00pm, sit down log into machine.
2:01pm, “EXCUSE ME”……………..”HELLO”
“Are you talking to me?” I ask.
“Yes……” as she draws in what seems to be an extremely labored breath, “I already talked to the guy sitting here” pointing to an empty chair at a computer station.
“You mean the access point where everyone sits down to log into the shared drive”
“Well he was there 10 minutes ago” she says in a huff.
Since I just sat down at my desk not more then 2 minutes ago, and it is my third day on the job still not knowing what all is going on, I take offense to her tone. As I swing my chair around to confront her and throw a little attitude right back I notice my co-worker peering at me over her shoulder watching to see my reaction.
“And what seems to be the problem” I inquire with as much decency as possible and an all to fake smile on my face.
“I told the guy………..” another labored breath, starting to wonder if I will need to call the paramedics soon, “over 10 minutes ago…….. that the............" oh oh, deep breath "DAMN PRINTER IS OUT OF PAPER!!!........cough…..stager…….cough” she says yelling and shaking her finger at me.
“Are you sure you don’t need a smoke” I say under my breath
“Excuse me?” she asks,
“I SAID, are you sure it’s not broke?” trying to hide any sign of sarcasm on my face now.
“Oh….ummmmm…..no it says it’s out of paper” as she shoots a puzzled look at me.
“Well then, let’s go see if we can fix that right up for you.” I say with a big smile, jumping to my feet in excitement.
I walk slowly over to the door where the other printer is located hoping another user might catch my eye and something more important to ask me. Upon entering the room, I can see that's out of the question, since there is a line of people standing over the printer looking at it as if it is a strange robot from another planet.
“WOW, are you all waiting for the printer?” I ask as sarcastic as possible, but being the idiots they are, they just all nod their heads up and down in compliance to my question.
Like little kids waiting for the adult to turn on the sprinkler on a hot summer day I can see the anticipation building up as I begin to look over the printer with a raised eyebrow.
“Hmmmmmm………." I ponder for a minute trying to ignore the large blinking display screen sceaming at me that the printer is out of paper. "well here’s the problem” I say as I pull out the paper tray, “its out of paper”.
A gasp falls over the crowd…………no really I’m serious it really did.
Mean while emphaziema women finally makes it back in to inspect my diagnosis. I swear to god if she put a mask on she would be Darth Vaders mom............a very very heavy crispy cream mom, but non the less.
“So was I right?” she says snobbishly.
“You sure were” I say with a big grin on my face. I wait a few seconds realizing I am not about to get a thank you from this women, so it’s time to see if she picks up on my sarcasm this time. “And I want to THANK YOU miss for bringing this to my attention so that the problem could be remedied as quickly as possible. Who knows how long this thing would have been down if you didn’t find me”……and the puzzled look has once again returned to her face confirming that this entire room does not know the definition of sarcasm. So with a smile on my face I extend my hand to shake hers all the while saying “Thank You” with each shake of the hand about 20 or 30 times.
I can see working here might be fun after all!
2:00pm, sit down log into machine.
2:01pm, “EXCUSE ME”……………..”HELLO”
“Are you talking to me?” I ask.
“Yes……” as she draws in what seems to be an extremely labored breath, “I already talked to the guy sitting here” pointing to an empty chair at a computer station.
“You mean the access point where everyone sits down to log into the shared drive”
“Well he was there 10 minutes ago” she says in a huff.
Since I just sat down at my desk not more then 2 minutes ago, and it is my third day on the job still not knowing what all is going on, I take offense to her tone. As I swing my chair around to confront her and throw a little attitude right back I notice my co-worker peering at me over her shoulder watching to see my reaction.
“And what seems to be the problem” I inquire with as much decency as possible and an all to fake smile on my face.
“I told the guy………..” another labored breath, starting to wonder if I will need to call the paramedics soon, “over 10 minutes ago…….. that the............" oh oh, deep breath "DAMN PRINTER IS OUT OF PAPER!!!........cough…..stager…….cough” she says yelling and shaking her finger at me.
“Are you sure you don’t need a smoke” I say under my breath
“Excuse me?” she asks,
“I SAID, are you sure it’s not broke?” trying to hide any sign of sarcasm on my face now.
“Oh….ummmmm…..no it says it’s out of paper” as she shoots a puzzled look at me.
“Well then, let’s go see if we can fix that right up for you.” I say with a big smile, jumping to my feet in excitement.
I walk slowly over to the door where the other printer is located hoping another user might catch my eye and something more important to ask me. Upon entering the room, I can see that's out of the question, since there is a line of people standing over the printer looking at it as if it is a strange robot from another planet.
“WOW, are you all waiting for the printer?” I ask as sarcastic as possible, but being the idiots they are, they just all nod their heads up and down in compliance to my question.
Like little kids waiting for the adult to turn on the sprinkler on a hot summer day I can see the anticipation building up as I begin to look over the printer with a raised eyebrow.
“Hmmmmmm………." I ponder for a minute trying to ignore the large blinking display screen sceaming at me that the printer is out of paper. "well here’s the problem” I say as I pull out the paper tray, “its out of paper”.
A gasp falls over the crowd…………no really I’m serious it really did.
Mean while emphaziema women finally makes it back in to inspect my diagnosis. I swear to god if she put a mask on she would be Darth Vaders mom............a very very heavy crispy cream mom, but non the less.
“So was I right?” she says snobbishly.
“You sure were” I say with a big grin on my face. I wait a few seconds realizing I am not about to get a thank you from this women, so it’s time to see if she picks up on my sarcasm this time. “And I want to THANK YOU miss for bringing this to my attention so that the problem could be remedied as quickly as possible. Who knows how long this thing would have been down if you didn’t find me”……and the puzzled look has once again returned to her face confirming that this entire room does not know the definition of sarcasm. So with a smile on my face I extend my hand to shake hers all the while saying “Thank You” with each shake of the hand about 20 or 30 times.
I can see working here might be fun after all!
posted by Mr. Cheese @ 9:06 AM
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