The Day Of Reckoning
Originally posted Tuesday, September 20, 2005
“Got a minute” the director asks as I stroll in.
“Yeah sure”
As I enter his office he tells me to shut the door. Oh goodie more good news coming my way, I can’t wait.
“I want you to know I am backing you up all the way and this decision is not coming from me but rather from corporate.” I don't like where this is going. “They have told me that I need to cut your hours back.”
“BACK????” I yell “How much more back can you get?” I ask “I’m already only getting 33 a week and now you want to cut back more?”
“Well” he stammers “Like I said this is not coming from me”
“Yeah and you obviously don’t have the balls to stand up for anything”
“That’s beside the point” he tells me. “They said no more then 26 hours a week.”
“Are you fucking insane? I can’t live off of that, hell I can’t live off of what I am getting right now.” You know that whole thing you always hear on the news about teachers not getting paid enough, yeah it’s true.
“The only way I can increase your hours is to get your certifications completed”
“Would you shut the hell up about those damn certs for one god damn day?”
He sits there twiddling his thumbs for a minute and then says “Aren’t you working on a new program to help out the medical team”
“Yeah” I answer with little enthusiasm
“And how is it going?”
“Just fine I say”
“How long before you think it will be done”
“This is a problem you have been struggling with at every damn school for the last two years with no results. I have been working on this for less then a week and you’re already asking when it is going to be done?” I repeat my earlier question this time a bit louder incase he didn’t hear me “ARE YOU INSANE?”
“Oh, no, no, I understand I was just saying, ah, well if you get it done we can submit it to corporate and maybe that will help influence them to hire you full time.”
“Yeah whatever, are we done so I can go back to working on it now?” I say this as I am already walking out the door. The director really doesn’t get the hint whenever I do this to him; he instead continues to talk louder and louder as I walk off hoping I might turn around, but by this time my mind is already thinking of devilish ways in which to strike back.
I sit down at my desk shooting glares at everyone across the room warning them that this is not a good time to come bother me. The medical teacher sitting behind me turns around and sees my disgust.
“So what was that all about?” she asks.
I explain the whole situation to her in detail “and then he has the audacity to ask me when this damn program will be finished.”
“Wow” she says “so what are you going to do?”
“I will finish this damn thing and make it all pretty and solve his little two year dilemma.”
“And are you going to send it to corporate?”
“Hell no, they can kiss my ass”
She laughs out loud turns back to her computer screen shaking her head “you know” she says “I think I’m going to like you working here”
So for the past week I have been working on a simple script to automate a very tedious task of setting up a certain exam we have. It usually takes a teacher anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour to set up a machine for this one test. After the test is complete all traces of it must be whipped so as no one else can sit down and cheat off of the last person. My script basically does everything needed in less than 2 minutes. Unfortunately the school does not have the necessary software in which to create a good script, so I had work on this mostly at home.
I finish the script exactly one week from the day I started. Nothing big, scripts are easy and fun. In total it came out to be just under 35 pages of code. I bring the medical team in to test it out. Each one giving approval and shaking my hand at solving a task that has plagued them for over two years.
“This is amazing” one explains “you don’t know how much time this will save us, how much agony you have taken from us” Dear God he looks like he is about to cry. It’s like these people have never seen a simple script before.
One of them looks at me and asks “So now what are you going to do with it?”
“Now” I say rubbing my hands together as I develop my evil plan “now I renegotiate my hours with corporate, muhahahahahaha” Ok so there was no evil laugh and I was only rubbing my hands together to get the Oreo cookie crumbs off of them, but its my story dammit.
After each medical teacher walks out of the director’s office praising my script (still don’t see what the hell the big deal is, IT’S A SCRIPT PEOPLE) the director calls me back into his office. I stroll in all proper and sit down.
“Well, looks like your little program is a huge success”
“It’s a script, but anyway yes” I give out a fake chuckle as if I really care
“Ok, well ship it out to corporate and attach some instructions, also get some beta testers from other schools so we can make sure it works on other systems as well, then…..”
“Whoa, whoa, slow down” I say “What makes you think this little thing is going anywhere?”
“Well because other schools have the same problem and need this.”
“And that concerns me why?”
“Well, it doesn’t matter; you made it here so technically you have to send it out since we own whatever you make while working here.” And this is when it got really interesting.
“Um, actually” I say adjusting myself to sit up straight in my chair “as I said before, it is not a program, but rather a script which was created using software you do not have at this school, or any other school. In fact I had to use my very own personal copy at home to create this. Therefore I am the owner of such said script and I get to say what, when, where and how this script will be used.”
The director, now the trap he has fallen into says “So you’re saying you’re not going to let other schools use it?”
“No, not at all, I think you misunderstood me” I say smiling and slouching comfortably back into my chair to ease the tension.
“Oh good” he chuckles “for a minute there I thought…..”
“You thought what? That I was going to tease you all with what it can do and then rip it from your greedy little paws.”
“Yeah”
We both laugh for a few seconds before I cut him off “well there of course is the licensing fee I will need to charge the school for the use of my software, plus royalties for each subsequent use, not to mention a bonus to my company…”
“Your company?”
“Oh yes the one I created about a week ago just before I started this project. Quiet funny actually, seems my new company specializes in writing complicated scripts for companies much like yours to automate daily tasks making everyone more efficient and saving the company a lot of money……..ALOT of money. Here is my card” I say passing him an impressive card detailing my new company "call us sometime and we can work out a price"
“This is ridiculous if you think we are going to pay you for something you wrote for us in the first place” he plays the part of good director bad director so well “I mean we could just get the software and write the script ourselves”
“True, true, and that particular piece of software runs about 150 bucks right now”
“Well see that’s not so bad, maybe we will just to that then”
“However” I intervene “in order for the script to run as an exe you will need the compiler as well, and that bumps the price of the software up to around 600 bucks. Not to mention the time and effort you will need to spend learning the language, then creating a script to produce the task at hand. How hard could it be, I mean you’ve only been sitting on this for two years now, I’m sure it will be a snap.”
“Ok smart guy, what is stopping me from going back to any machine right now and just taking it and then redistributing it on my own. I mean it’s your word against mine right?”
“Yeah that would have worked real well If I hadn’t password protected it with 128 bit encryption.”
“You didn’t?”
“Oh I did” I say leaning over his desk and glaring at him “not only that but, enter the wrong password too many times and the script thinks you are trying to hack in and it is then told to start deleting registry keys until the system is rendered useless”
I cross my hands over my knee and a smile emerges from ear to ear.
Let the negotiating begin!
“Got a minute” the director asks as I stroll in.
“Yeah sure”
As I enter his office he tells me to shut the door. Oh goodie more good news coming my way, I can’t wait.
“I want you to know I am backing you up all the way and this decision is not coming from me but rather from corporate.” I don't like where this is going. “They have told me that I need to cut your hours back.”
“BACK????” I yell “How much more back can you get?” I ask “I’m already only getting 33 a week and now you want to cut back more?”
“Well” he stammers “Like I said this is not coming from me”
“Yeah and you obviously don’t have the balls to stand up for anything”
“That’s beside the point” he tells me. “They said no more then 26 hours a week.”
“Are you fucking insane? I can’t live off of that, hell I can’t live off of what I am getting right now.” You know that whole thing you always hear on the news about teachers not getting paid enough, yeah it’s true.
“The only way I can increase your hours is to get your certifications completed”
“Would you shut the hell up about those damn certs for one god damn day?”
He sits there twiddling his thumbs for a minute and then says “Aren’t you working on a new program to help out the medical team”
“Yeah” I answer with little enthusiasm
“And how is it going?”
“Just fine I say”
“How long before you think it will be done”
“This is a problem you have been struggling with at every damn school for the last two years with no results. I have been working on this for less then a week and you’re already asking when it is going to be done?” I repeat my earlier question this time a bit louder incase he didn’t hear me “ARE YOU INSANE?”
“Oh, no, no, I understand I was just saying, ah, well if you get it done we can submit it to corporate and maybe that will help influence them to hire you full time.”
“Yeah whatever, are we done so I can go back to working on it now?” I say this as I am already walking out the door. The director really doesn’t get the hint whenever I do this to him; he instead continues to talk louder and louder as I walk off hoping I might turn around, but by this time my mind is already thinking of devilish ways in which to strike back.
I sit down at my desk shooting glares at everyone across the room warning them that this is not a good time to come bother me. The medical teacher sitting behind me turns around and sees my disgust.
“So what was that all about?” she asks.
I explain the whole situation to her in detail “and then he has the audacity to ask me when this damn program will be finished.”
“Wow” she says “so what are you going to do?”
“I will finish this damn thing and make it all pretty and solve his little two year dilemma.”
“And are you going to send it to corporate?”
“Hell no, they can kiss my ass”
She laughs out loud turns back to her computer screen shaking her head “you know” she says “I think I’m going to like you working here”
So for the past week I have been working on a simple script to automate a very tedious task of setting up a certain exam we have. It usually takes a teacher anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour to set up a machine for this one test. After the test is complete all traces of it must be whipped so as no one else can sit down and cheat off of the last person. My script basically does everything needed in less than 2 minutes. Unfortunately the school does not have the necessary software in which to create a good script, so I had work on this mostly at home.
I finish the script exactly one week from the day I started. Nothing big, scripts are easy and fun. In total it came out to be just under 35 pages of code. I bring the medical team in to test it out. Each one giving approval and shaking my hand at solving a task that has plagued them for over two years.
“This is amazing” one explains “you don’t know how much time this will save us, how much agony you have taken from us” Dear God he looks like he is about to cry. It’s like these people have never seen a simple script before.
One of them looks at me and asks “So now what are you going to do with it?”
“Now” I say rubbing my hands together as I develop my evil plan “now I renegotiate my hours with corporate, muhahahahahaha” Ok so there was no evil laugh and I was only rubbing my hands together to get the Oreo cookie crumbs off of them, but its my story dammit.
After each medical teacher walks out of the director’s office praising my script (still don’t see what the hell the big deal is, IT’S A SCRIPT PEOPLE) the director calls me back into his office. I stroll in all proper and sit down.
“Well, looks like your little program is a huge success”
“It’s a script, but anyway yes” I give out a fake chuckle as if I really care
“Ok, well ship it out to corporate and attach some instructions, also get some beta testers from other schools so we can make sure it works on other systems as well, then…..”
“Whoa, whoa, slow down” I say “What makes you think this little thing is going anywhere?”
“Well because other schools have the same problem and need this.”
“And that concerns me why?”
“Well, it doesn’t matter; you made it here so technically you have to send it out since we own whatever you make while working here.” And this is when it got really interesting.
“Um, actually” I say adjusting myself to sit up straight in my chair “as I said before, it is not a program, but rather a script which was created using software you do not have at this school, or any other school. In fact I had to use my very own personal copy at home to create this. Therefore I am the owner of such said script and I get to say what, when, where and how this script will be used.”
The director, now the trap he has fallen into says “So you’re saying you’re not going to let other schools use it?”
“No, not at all, I think you misunderstood me” I say smiling and slouching comfortably back into my chair to ease the tension.
“Oh good” he chuckles “for a minute there I thought…..”
“You thought what? That I was going to tease you all with what it can do and then rip it from your greedy little paws.”
“Yeah”
We both laugh for a few seconds before I cut him off “well there of course is the licensing fee I will need to charge the school for the use of my software, plus royalties for each subsequent use, not to mention a bonus to my company…”
“Your company?”
“Oh yes the one I created about a week ago just before I started this project. Quiet funny actually, seems my new company specializes in writing complicated scripts for companies much like yours to automate daily tasks making everyone more efficient and saving the company a lot of money……..ALOT of money. Here is my card” I say passing him an impressive card detailing my new company "call us sometime and we can work out a price"
“This is ridiculous if you think we are going to pay you for something you wrote for us in the first place” he plays the part of good director bad director so well “I mean we could just get the software and write the script ourselves”
“True, true, and that particular piece of software runs about 150 bucks right now”
“Well see that’s not so bad, maybe we will just to that then”
“However” I intervene “in order for the script to run as an exe you will need the compiler as well, and that bumps the price of the software up to around 600 bucks. Not to mention the time and effort you will need to spend learning the language, then creating a script to produce the task at hand. How hard could it be, I mean you’ve only been sitting on this for two years now, I’m sure it will be a snap.”
“Ok smart guy, what is stopping me from going back to any machine right now and just taking it and then redistributing it on my own. I mean it’s your word against mine right?”
“Yeah that would have worked real well If I hadn’t password protected it with 128 bit encryption.”
“You didn’t?”
“Oh I did” I say leaning over his desk and glaring at him “not only that but, enter the wrong password too many times and the script thinks you are trying to hack in and it is then told to start deleting registry keys until the system is rendered useless”
I cross my hands over my knee and a smile emerges from ear to ear.
Let the negotiating begin!
posted by Mr. Cheese @ 7:14 AM
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